Ephesians 4:29.

"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Ephesians 4:29.

My struggle on this isn't necessarily what comes out of my mouth, but rather what doesn't come out of my mouth or what occupies my thoughts. I'm challenging myself to be intentionally positive...something that generally comes easily to me has not recently (being positive), and that needs to change. Encouraging others and bringing joy to their lives is what I've always wanted to do, it is what I enjoy doing. Recently, I've let things steal my joy, things that really shouldn't matter - like people, or work, or whatever.

I miss being the girl who was always smiling, always laughing, always loving, always living her life to the fullest. Just because circumstances might not be ideal - which if I'm honest, most of my life is pretty ideal - I've never let that affect me.

Recently, it's the little things, the things that used to not matter a bit to me, that will steal my joy. It's the cattiness, the pettiness, the disrespect shown by people who really shouldn't, in the grand scheme of things, matter. It's things that at the end of the day, I should walk away from, not take home with me, and not let get in the way of my life, my relationships, my joy.

My God is so much bigger than all of this. My God overcame the world. In the end, He is the only one who matters. Why, then, am I letting those who don't matter, matter?

It's a battle...the battle between good and evil. It's a battle that unfortunately I've tried to fight on my own. It's a battle that I know I can't win on my own, so why try it? Why let Satan get in the way and try to steal my joy? That's all these "outside" things are. Why be who I am not? I know my identity can only be found in Christ.

"I want to live His plan for my life. I hate the chaos that ensues when...I was trying to do life on my own. I realized I'm nothing without having God as my everything." (A message I sent to a friend a while ago while discussing life plans.)

Maybe this is all just a bunch of mumbo-jumbo Shae thoughts to you, but as you've read this, I hope you see I need prayer - for strength from God to be who He wants me to be, to carry His great name, and to live the life He has planned for me, to follow His path. Being encouraging and being positive, building people up, that's more than just the nice thing to do - I have been called to live out my faith in the environment I am in, with the people I am living life with.

This being positive and encouraging thing, not letting any unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, is different than what the people I am around are used to seeing on a daily basis from others they encounter, and it is what God has called me (all Christians) to do! I've been put here for a purpose. How long I will be in this particular situation, I don't know. Is it comfortable? No. Actually, I'm sure it will not get any easier or more comfortable. But while I'm here, I want to live out that purpose. I know there are many people I am in close contact with daily who do not know Christ.

If I'm not living any different from the world, how can I make a difference for the kingdom?