One Year Later

What a year it has been.

One year ago today I was hit by a truck while crossing the street. That's not something I ever thought I would say. Clearly before the accident I never thought I would say it. But there were times after the accident I was in so much pain, I was so irritated, I was so over it, I just wanted to give up. Thankfully, I didn't give up.

I'm sure if you're reading this you either know me or know at least a little about my accident. If you know me, you probably know more than you care to know about the accident. So I won't repeat the same things over and over... I'm just going to look back over the blog posts and tweets of the last year. Thanks for taking this journey with me...Sorry it's so long :)

Love,
Shae Suzanne

Blog posts:
1/29/10
When I heard the song Faithful (Steven Curtis Chapman), it immediately made an impression on me. Since November 19, 2009, I had a lot of fears. I had nightmares, I wondered how long it would take me to heal. I was frustrated. I got irritated. I couldn't figure out why I was the one to get hit by the truck, why my arm was stuck in a cast, and why my knee hurt. I mean seriously, this is the kind of stuff that happens to people in movies or on the news, not in real life. But apparently it does happen in real life ... Since hearing the song, I have gained a whole new perspective. No matter what God is faithful. In our darkest hours, on our happiest days. God is so faithful. ... So although I still don't understand why I was hit, why my knee hurts or why I'm stuck in a cast, I do understand that God is faithful. I'm alive, and that's what counts. This cast will eventually come off. My knee will eventually heal. And hopefully my nightmares will stop and I won't be scared of cars or crossing streets. When will any of this happen? I have no idea. Do I want to know? Well, kind of. But I'm content with where I am, knowing that God has perfect timing for everything.

2/23/10
One of my very favorite verses in the Bible is Jeremiah 29:11. It reads: "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (New International Version) ... I often worry about things...one of those being my future. I will graduate in December. To be exact, I graduate 297 days from now. I have no idea what I will do. I am just a 20 year old filled with dreams.

2/27/10
Possibly my favorite part of Saturday was...beating Kansas and rushing the court!! It is something I have always wanted to do (court, not KU). While it might not have been the smartest idea to run onto the court with hundreds of other students while wearing a knee and wrist brace, I did it. And I loved every second of it. I am so proud of the OSU team, and having the chance to celebrate with all the other sweaty students just made victory that much sweeter. My friends and I got separated, but I figured out singing the alma mater can bring together anyone... None of the people singing around me knew each other. KU, good luck at the national title run, I pick you over the other top teams! ... I'm still holding tight to Jeremiah 29:11. Sometimes, I need encouragement in order to do so. Encourage someone. You'd be surprised how much you get out of it.

3/7/10
I've put off blogging this week because I don't really know what to say. Those of you who know me personally or follow me on Twitter probably know by this time what's been going on. For those of you who do not know/follow me, my cousin's husband passed away this week. Please pray for Christie & her wonderful three year old twins, Avery and Ainslee. Talking with people about our favorite memories with JR got me thinking... Those are lyrics from one of my favorite songs, Legacy, by Nichole Nordeman. My favorite part is the bridge. When I'm gone, I don't want people to remember the worldly things I've done. ... I would much rather people forget all that stuff about me and remember my love for Jesus, my love for people, my passions, my character. If all someone remembers about me is that I drove a black mustang with hot pink seats, they don't actually know me, nor do they remember anything of significance about me. If all someone remembers is my love for Jesus, they know my heart. ... My challenge is to figure out how you want people to remember you. ... Be consistent. Why? So that when people talk about you, they'll all have different memories but they'll remember the same person. JR is remembered as a great daddy, husband, son, brother, uncle, cousin and friend. We will all miss him, but remember him for being a wonderful person.

4/1/10
Everything accident related yesterday kind of put me in a grouchy mood. The tightness and pain of my knee reminded me of how it felt in the weeks after the accident. It hadn't been as swollen as it was in probably three months. I couldn't walk and I thought I was going to have to drive my mom's car again instead of my beautiful mustang Gerard. I was so upset about what was going on, so confused as to why the accident happened, and so irritated with the pain! I lost focus of the faithfulness of God. I forgot how far I've come. I quit thinking how blessed I am just to be alive. I stopped asking God to use this to reach people. I pretty much gave up. Thankfully, that only lasted for a few hours, but just going back to where I was after the accident wasn't a good thing. I realized yesterday that things aren't always on an smooth road. We are going to hit potholes. We aren't perfect people and this certainly isn't a perfect world. Philippians 3:14 came to mind: "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus" (NIV). I lost sight of all the greatness going on right now for just a small amount of time. Don't let yourself do that, press on.

5/11/10
"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so. Some things I cannot change, but 'till I try, I'll never know." How many times do we let people dictate what we are and are not capable of? I let people do that more times than I can count. Not things like following rules, because clearly that has to happen. But people telling you that you can't do something? Why can you not do it? Because you let one person (or group of people) influence your thoughts. Turn that around - make it an encouragement. One time, my dad told me I couldn't win Grand at county. At the time, it was true. He said if I won he would build me a half court basketball barn. I had awesome sheep, don't get me wrong. But I wasn't working. He said I couldn't win and it made me mad. I wanted to prove him wrong. Did the months of solid hard work pay off? Well, there is now a 40 x 40 barn hanging out behind the house... Maybe this isn't the best example, because I had the talent and the goods I just wasn't applying myself, but once Daddy tried to limit me, I wouldn't take no for an answer. Don't let others create limits for you. ... "As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly."

6/19/10
I had surgery on my knee on June 10 ... They were able to find some things to repair in my knee, thankfully.

8/10/10
A lot has happened over the last two weeks. I’ll share the good news first – I was released from the doctor on July 30!! Eight months and 11 days. That’s a LONG time, especially for someone so impatient like me. I learned a lot in those months. ... I learned how precious life is. Milliseconds could have changed the outcome. God truly had his hand on me in that moment. ... I learned how faithful God is. ... I learned how great my family is. ... I learned how blessed I am to have great friends. ... I learned God can do anything.

Tweets
Tweets posted sometime the day of the accident (11/19):
Thankful for God's protection..& for good pain medicine. And for my amazing family, friends & professors. Thanks for prayers
Changed the knee bandaid... @kennedt got to inflict some pain. Haha. Thankful for pain meds & a very campassionate family taking care of me!

11/21: I'm getting tired of sitting here bored. But I won't complain too much about the excruciating pain because I'm alive to be able to feel it.
11/25: Come as you are, broken & scarred... -Natalie Grant, Perfect People
11/26: @kennedt thanks for being heartless. Hahahahaha.
11/28: Man #bedlam could take a few years to finish. Let's go Cowboys!
12/3: No surgery! 4 weeks of physical therapy on the knee! I'm so thankful! :)
12/14: Walked without crutches all day today - it was painful & now I'm nice & sore, but I'm slowly getting better!
12/23: Short cast day!!! *(Might I add, this was a GREAT Christmas present??)
12/28: I'm not old lady driver anymore! Well at least for the day. hopefully my knee can hold up to the stang!
12/28: @kennedt well it did make me feel like a granny...
1/4: RT @kennedt I'm proud of Kaden's as he works for blackbelt/personal improvement by daily items. 3 prayers, 10 good deeds, daily writing & exercise
1/7: "Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18
1/7: Last day at PT central tri city; they're sending me to the one in stw :) they're great! I recommend them to anyone needing PT in the area!
1/8: "God is in control of my life & I know that if nothing else, I'm standing on the rock." -Colt McCoy. LOVE his testimony. #Big12
1/10: I'm scared &I'm confused but You are faithful...I will scream it in the dark-You are faithful -@StevenCurtis - I needed to hear this tonight
1/11: God is so big! No traffic @ the intersection this morning when I crossed it - by myself!! Thanks to all who were praying for that moment! :)
1/12: Apparently I have a lost/in need of physical therapy "look". I walked into the wellness center &was immediately directed to PT central. Haha
1/12: "What happened?" "I was hit by a truck while I was walking & yes I'm serious." I am a novelty apparently & have to tell the story constantly
1/13: a. reading twitter in class is dangerous if you follow funny people. b. i have a deformed knee. and c. i need coffee. #randomfacts
1/19: I wish there was a lotion to squirt in my cast to make it be less scratchy. 3 days until I know what"s next! Praying for no cast/surgery!
1/20: having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. hoping prayers & basketball will fix it.
1/22: I'm hiding under my covers trying to sleep a few more minutes & my blackberry buzzes every 42 seconds. :( But...Doctor today = cast news! :)
1/22: Welcome my newest accessory, cast #3. Ugh. http://mypict.me/36QXI
1/25: I don't think thinking OW! every time you take a step is exactly normal. It's not fun either. Either I'll heal or eventually not notice.
1/27: Work computer not working & tylenol not kicking in. Why does this feel like a monday?
1/28: Another 'accessory', a lovely knee brace. (sorry its upside down!) http://mypict.me/3iiS8
1/29: Ice, heat, strech, Wii, movie. Rinse & repeat. I'm so bored.
2/8: I would do anything to be able to actually hand write notes right now. Its so difficult to study without writing notes! Heal, arm!
2/10: I think I just heard myself use fixinto & holler in the same sentence. I'm hoping it was my imagination. Probably not though.
2/19: 8.5 hours until I get cast 3 off & news about the future... My appointment time is 3 months & 59 minutes after the accident. Wow.
2/19: RT @MaxLucado: There is more to your life than you ever thought. There is more to your story than what you have read.
2/19: No cast, no cast, no cast!! Or surgery!!!
3/1: Headed home with a heavy heart. Pray for Christie, Ainslee & Avery & the McComas & Kennedy families.
3/3: "Don't let your life speed out of control. Live intentionally. Do something today that will last beyond your lifetime" -Barbara Johnson
3/8: Off to physical therapy. "Never let it be said that the body was willing & the spirit was weak" (it just hurts!)
3/12: All that stands between me & spring break: a little pain & ice (aka the last part of today's pt). Here comes my physical therapist... :(
3/23: I just enrolled for my last undergrad semester... @kennedt, you're gettin old! #in
3/25: read Branded for 1 hour. sleep 4.5 hours. AZ prayer breakfast. OKC/orthopedic. Stillwater. Jo's Pizza. Falls Creek/Retreat! yes :) Bring it!
3/26: The starbucks guy remembered me as the girl who got hit by a truck. At lease I'm rememberable?
3/26: Accident update: 4 months & 1 week later: arm not healed, getting a bone stem. Knee a puzzle, getting another MRI.
3/31: I wore matching socks AND shaved my legs today. These MRI folks should feel special! I hope this knee injection idea doesn't hurt!
4/2: Mom registered me for the OKC Memorial 5K. I was planning to run it this year, but that's not an option. I pray I can walk the whole thing
4/5: I was reminded yesterday that no matter what happens, good or bad, God is in control and has a plan. Thankful for that for sure!
4/7: darn knee. i took off the brace and it was all nice and swollen. i'm praying for answers on friday.
4/7: There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly :)
4/8: Good day :) saw my big, pt wasn't too bad, then a great practice & bible study. I'm so blessed :) now I'm icing the knee & sleeping!
4/9: MRI came back good, no knee surgery!! #fb
4/12: my boss informed me this morning that she felt like she was hit by a truck...then realized who she said it to. best monday quote ever? yes!
4/12: I wish creating awkward/embarassing moments was a qualification for a cool job. If so, I'd be overqualified :)
4/14: "Its like this isn't physical therapy central, its relationship therapy central!" Glad my PT gives out free advice... Ha!
4/17: "I'm through accepting limits cause someone says they're so; some things I cannot change, but until I try I'll never know!"
4/21: it doesn't look like I get to do run/walk the @OKCMarathon 5K this year b/c of the knee. Super bummed... do they still need volunteers?!
4/23: This morning my PT woke up & decided "I will make shae remember she isn't supposed to do a 5K this weekend & turn her leg into jelly" Super!
4/27: 8 years ago my sweet cousin went to live with Jesus. I miss you and love you forever CJ. http://bit.ly/bWcvyJ
4/29: Words of wisdom: don't leave the injured girl or the one that can't bake in charge of party dessert. Me + cooking = disaster + injury = :(
4/30: Doctor day!! Praying for progress on my arm's bone growth!
4/30: Good news - finally!! My arm is starting to heal! 2 more months of the BGS but it's on the right track! #fb
5/7: Great news - no more physical therapy!!! :) #fb
5/8: Oil change, hair cut, back to Stillwater. Happy graduation day @cayleeolson!!
5/20: The sunset sure is beautiful from my bedroom window.
5/26: I will declare it in my heart...you are faithful...and I am holding on -@StevenCurtis
6/4: I'm #thankful... It's Friday. For my AK. To be sitting at my desk copyediting. For unexpected smiles. For so much I can't put it all on here
6/9: If I had it my way, I would be in Nashville at #CMAFest tomorrow. Instead, I'm having knee surgery. Pray the doctor finds the problem.
6/9: Oh, I'm not complaining. The next opening was a month away & I can't wait that long. I #SEE how much better His way is than mine! #Faithful
6/10: The hospital gave me "Fall Risk" bracelet. Clearly I should be wearing one of these even without medicine. http://mypict.me/83cVq
6/10: Thanks for prayers the last 6 months. I'm out of surgery, groggy and hurting, but I am hopeful I'm headed in the right direction.
6/10: @kennedt is heartless. #fb
6/10: @ChefTJKelley made GREAT food tonight! Kelley's Urban Comfort makes comforting comfort food; it was my 1st pick after the accident &surgery!
6/11: Hurting this morning, but glad Dr. O'Brien found the source of my knee pain. My entire leg is wrapped &I'm sleepy from medicine. Good night!
6/13: It is a little toasty at the Kennedy home. This is coming from the girl with a leg packed in ice. So really, its HOT!
6/14: After sleeping most of the last four days, I'm not ready to be awake all day at work.
6/18: Stitches out, back to physical therapy.
6/22: What can I say, what can I do, but offer this heart, oh Lord, completely to you?
6/28: What a hectic but great day! Headed to Physical Therapy Central Newcastle to get the knee worked on. #GodIsGood
7/14: Sore knee today. Not painful, sore. I'm so not used to this - I'm used to intense pain. What a relief!!
7/28: At Tan & Tone to work out. Its been a long 8 months and I'm so glad I get to work out again!
7/30: 8 months,11days and 22 minutes later: I'm released from the doctor! #fb
8/6: Waiting at the ER for the ambulance to get here with my sweet grandma. #pray
8/8: Grandma Sparks is in Heaven this morning. I'm thankful she is pain free and able to worship Jesus on Sunday morning as she so longed to do.
8/11: I'm so thankful for all the prayers over my family this week. Today at two we will say goodbye to grandma. I can't remember the last time I said that without also saying love you, see you soon. So today will be a celebration that we will see grandma again. I'm praising God for the sweet lady I was so honored to call grandma & friend.
8/23: Senior year goal: dont get run over. #fb
8/23: @lolojo I don't even want a band aid!
8/26: I guess if you don't jump, you'll never know if you can fly -@Miranda_Lambert #fb
9/14: On days like this I wish I was spending time with Grandma Sparks. Really missing her today.
9/21: Even in my stopped up nose sickness, I can tell vapor rub, biofreeze and lotion aren't a good combination. Sorry :(
9/21: I just crossed a street BY MYSELF!!!! With traffic and everything! Thank you Jesus for victory!!!
9/25: RT @jasonoelrich Pain is temporary. Quitting lasts forever. -Lance Armstrong #motivation
10/6: "though the road is long & we don't always get to understand it all...I have faith in You" -@jamismith
10/7: watching wheel of fortune & getting ready to go... missing grandma sparks, this was always our show
10/8: Finished with work & none of the pompers found me!! Thanks kflem for keeping them away for a bit. I love HoCo, but today I loved the break.
10/14: don't worry 'bout what you dont know, life's a dance you learn as you go
10/17: go old people team! bahaha RT @bemm114 Celebratory basketball game in honor of #libsignsetup #OKstateHC *(This was my first time to play basketball since before the accident!)
10/20: i believe mom deb's thery of tired being the first word you learn in college is correct #catdh10 #philambdelt2010
10/23: GO PHI LAMB & DELT!!!!! #philambdeltdomination #okstatehc http://yfrog.com/6x5yej #fb *(Most exciting day of my senior year so far!!)
10/26: Take me east to Nashville, life will be okay.
10/26: love talking to my aunt kandi. time to start on the why i'm glad to be graduating list. on it: working with AK every day again
10/29: almost got git by 5 deer. yes, you read that correctly. I don't hit things, things hit me. trucks, deer, etc
11/11: I'm such an old lady in this Oklahoma weather. pain medicine & ice on knee...awesome.
11/12: ice, ice baby
11/17: if you wanna be a phi lamb theres just one thing to do: give your heart to Jesus, he gave his life for you! #SorryWeStoleYourTuneChiO #iWeek
11/19: Haha oh i will! RT @kennedt @Shaeken. Look both ways when crossing the road today. :-)
Today is my one year "live-aversary." Check out life after being hit by a truck: http://shaeken.wordpress.com/2010/11/19/one-year-later/

Thanks again for all your prayers, love and support over the last year. God is faithful.